"Quotations" from the people of LJ

"If never get what you want...  Maybe it's time to change what you want..."  -Nuria

"Justice is only rationalized revenge." 

A guy asked me, 'Have you ever slept with a man?' I said, 'No.' He asked me, 'How do you know you're a lesbian?' I said, 'Because I love sleeping with women.' He went on, 'So how do lesbians... do it? I just don't understand.' I said, 'We stroke erogenous zones for foreplay, put our fingers inside each other and pump them in and out and stimulate the clitoris with either our tongue or fingers until we orgasm. Why?' My Mum's probably right. I'm going to get raped. It was a daft thing to say, and I wouldn't do it again. But God it was fun at the time. ~Mercy

Honey, you're simple, you're shallow, and you're a common whore. That's why we're soulmates!

I believe...if you can't say something nice about somebody, you must be talking about Hilary Clinton.

~Ron White

*rofl*

Keats died at 28! What are you waiting for?

~Stella Adler

Here, have some party mix - it'll make you feel better. Or worse. That's the great thing about party mix, you never know!

-Karen, after Grace found out that Leo is staying another month in Africa

A rooster married a chicken last week in Indonesia. And, for the record, on their wedding night, the chicken came first.


Tina Fey, SNL

(and I know I didn't get it exactly verbatim, but that's the gist of it)

B: I'm thinking of a question. Nate! Help me out
Nate: Doughnut?
B: Maybe
Spike: Pink, combonation of purple and white
B: Yes, Definately!
Nate: Yes!

This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard.

-Grace, on one of her depression kicks when she brings out the slides of her childhood